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Possibly the Funniest Programming Joke Ever

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I know it is not yet time for our annual Christmas humor, however I feel like sharing a joke today. --A joke that is possibly one of the funniest programming jokes of all time.

Maybe some of you have already heard or read about this one because it's rather old, but just to relive the fun, here it goes:

The Evolution of a Programmer by Anonymous

*High School/Jr.High

10 PRINT "HELLO WORLD"
20 END

*First year in College

program Hello(input, output)
begin
writeln('Hello World')
end.

*Senior year in College

(defun hello
(print
(cons 'Hello (list 'World))))

*New professional

#include
void main(void)
{
char *message[] = {"Hello ", "World"};
int i;

for(i = 0; i <>
#include

class string
{
private:
int size;
char *ptr;

string() : size(0), ptr(new char[1]) { ptr[0] = 0; }

string(const string &s) : size(s.size)
{
ptr = new char[size + 1];
strcpy(ptr, s.ptr);
}

~string()
{
delete [] ptr;
}

friend ostream &operator <<(ostream &, const string &); string &operator=(const char *); }; ostream &operator<<(ostream &stream, const string &s) { return(stream << operator="(const" size =" strlen(chrs);" ptr =" new" str = "Hello World">);
importheader();
importheader();
importheader("pshlo.h");
importheader("shlo.hxx");
importheader("mycls.hxx");

// needed typelibs
importlib("actimp.tlb");
importlib("actexp.tlb");
importlib("thlo.tlb");

[
uuid(2573F891-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820),
aggregatable
]
coclass CHello
{
cotype THello;
};
};


#include "ipfix.hxx"

extern HANDLE hEvent;

class CHello : public CHelloBase
{
public:
IPFIX(CLSID_CHello);

CHello(IUnknown *pUnk);
~CHello();

HRESULT __stdcall PrintSz(LPWSTR pwszString);

private:
static int cObjRef;
};


#include
#include
#include
#include
#include "thlo.h"
#include "pshlo.h"
#include "shlo.hxx"
#include "mycls.hxx"

int CHello::cObjRef = 0;

CHello::CHello(IUnknown *pUnk) : CHelloBase(pUnk)
{
cObjRef++;
return;
}

HRESULT __stdcall CHello::PrintSz(LPWSTR pwszString)
{
printf("%ws
", pwszString);
return(ResultFromScode(S_OK));
}


CHello::~CHello(void)
{

// when the object count goes to zero, stop the server
cObjRef--;
if( cObjRef == 0 )
PulseEvent(hEvent);

return;
}

#include
#include
#include "pshlo.h"
#include "shlo.hxx"
#include "mycls.hxx"

HANDLE hEvent;

int _cdecl main(
int argc,
char * argv[]
) {
ULONG ulRef;
DWORD dwRegistration;
CHelloCF *pCF = new CHelloCF();

hEvent = CreateEvent(NULL, FALSE, FALSE, NULL);

// Initialize the OLE libraries
CoInitializeEx(NULL, COINIT_MULTITHREADED);

CoRegisterClassObject(CLSID_CHello, pCF, CLSCTX_LOCAL_SERVER,
REGCLS_MULTIPLEUSE, &dwRegistration);

// wait on an event to stop
WaitForSingleObject(hEvent, INFINITE);

// revoke and release the class object
CoRevokeClassObject(dwRegistration);
ulRef = pCF->Release();

// Tell OLE we are going away.
CoUninitialize();

return(0); }

extern CLSID CLSID_CHello;
extern UUID LIBID_CHelloLib;

CLSID CLSID_CHello = { /* 2573F891-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820 */
0x2573F891,
0xCFEE,
0x101A,
{ 0x9A, 0x9F, 0x00, 0xAA, 0x00, 0x34, 0x28, 0x20 }
};

UUID LIBID_CHelloLib = { /* 2573F890-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820 */
0x2573F890,
0xCFEE,
0x101A,
{ 0x9A, 0x9F, 0x00, 0xAA, 0x00, 0x34, 0x28, 0x20 }
};

#include
#include
#include
#include
#include
#include "pshlo.h"
#include "shlo.hxx"
#include "clsid.h"

int _cdecl main(
int argc,
char * argv[]
) {
HRESULT hRslt;
IHello *pHello;
ULONG ulCnt;
IMoniker * pmk;
WCHAR wcsT[_MAX_PATH];
WCHAR wcsPath[2 * _MAX_PATH];

// get object path
wcsPath[0] = '\0';
wcsT[0] = '\0';
if( argc > 1) {
mbstowcs(wcsPath, argv[1], strlen(argv[1]) + 1);
wcsupr(wcsPath);
}
else {
fprintf(stderr, "Object path must be specified\n");
return(1);
}

// get print string
if(argc > 2)
mbstowcs(wcsT, argv[2], strlen(argv[2]) + 1);
else
wcscpy(wcsT, L"Hello World");

printf("Linking to object %ws\n", wcsPath);
printf("Text String %ws\n", wcsT);

// Initialize the OLE libraries
hRslt = CoInitializeEx(NULL, COINIT_MULTITHREADED);

if(SUCCEEDED(hRslt)) {


hRslt = CreateFileMoniker(wcsPath, &pmk);
if(SUCCEEDED(hRslt))
hRslt = BindMoniker(pmk, 0, IID_IHello, (void **)&pHello);

if(SUCCEEDED(hRslt)) {

// print a string out
pHello->PrintSz(wcsT);

Sleep(2000);
ulCnt = pHello->Release();
}
else
printf("Failure to connect, status: %lx", hRslt);

// Tell OLE we are going away.
CoUninitialize();
}

return(0);
}

*Apprentice Hacker

#!/usr/local/bin/perl
$msg="Hello, world.\n";
if ($#ARGV >= 0) {
while(defined($arg=shift(@ARGV))) {
$outfilename = $arg;
open(FILE, ">" . $outfilename) || die "Can't write $arg: $!\n";
print (FILE $msg);
close(FILE) || die "Can't close $arg: $!\n";
}
} else {
print ($msg);
}
1;

*Experienced Hacker

#include
#define S "Hello, World\n"
main(){exit(printf(S) == strlen(S) ? 0 : 1);}

*Seasoned Hacker

% cc -o a.out ~/src/misc/hw/hw.c
% a.out

*Guru Hacker

% echo "Hello, world."

*New Manager

10 PRINT "HELLO WORLD"
20 END

*Middle Manager

mail -s "Hello, world." bob@b12
Bob, could you please write me a program that prints "Hello, world."?
I need it by tomorrow.
^D

*Senior Manager

% zmail jim
I need a "Hello, world." program by this afternoon.

*Chief Executive

% letter
letter: Command not found.
% mail
To: ^X ^F ^C
% help mail
help: Command not found.
% damn!
!: Event unrecognized
% logout

LOL!

Credit: ariel.com.au

6 comments

  1. New Professional remembers:

    Spaghetti code = job security

    ReplyDelete
  2. i don't get the "experienced hacker" one.

    ReplyDelete
  3. >>i don't get the "experienced hacker" one.

    But yet you DO understand, "New Professional"? ;^)

    Start with:

    "C Programming Language (2nd Edition)" (AKA, K&R)
    Brian W. Kernighan (Author)
    Dennis M. Ritchie (Author)

    ReplyDelete
  4. There are only 10 types of people in the world - those that understand binary and those that don't.

    -and-

    There are 2 hard problems in computer science: caching, naming, and off-by-1 errors.


    Both of these are far, far funnier programming jokes, IMO.

    ReplyDelete
  5. def _(**kwargs): pass

    trip"
    [Sorry to get you excited but I don't live up to my potential. Feel free to pass me whatever you want to.] [(Snake joke)]
    "trip

    ReplyDelete
  6. I think it should be
    % ./a.out
    unless . is in your PATH

    ReplyDelete