3 Linux Distros That You Might Never Want to Try

Posted by jun auza On 4/11/2011
Linux-based distributions like Fedora, Ubuntu, and openSUSE have completely revolutionized the traditional desktop. However, there are some distributions that don't quite match the standards that these Distrowatch-toppers have set. Here's a look at 3 such Linux distributions, that you'll never want to try.

Hannah Montana Linux:

-Hannah Montana: an American T.V series about a teenage girl leading a double life. She's an average schoolgirl by day and a famous pop star by night.

-Linux: a generic term referring to Unix-like graphical user interface (GUI) based computer operating systems based on the Linux kernel.

Now, in a rare and historic event, these two worlds have come together to bring a new era of hope in the world of desktop computing. Ladies and Gentlemen, presenting the revolutionary Operating System - Hannah Montana Linux (HML).

Boy in the crowd: What's Hannah Montana Linux?
The Steve Jobs of Linux: Hannah Montana Linux is a UNIX-like Linux Operating System based on Kubuntu.
Girl in the crowd: What is Linux?
Nose-picking tall-boy in crowd: What's UNIX?
Fat boy with an ice cream: What's Kubuntu? Is it a new toy or a cool gadget?
Miley Cyrus (yeah she's here!): What's an Operating System? Wait… what am I doing here? Isn't this Shaun's party? Duh!

In case you're wondering whether Hannah Montana Linux really exists, here's a link to their official website. HML is actually a KDE based Linux distribution with a 'really cool' Hannah Montana theme. According to the FAQ on the website, HML was designed to attract young users to Linux. Thank goodness, at least they'll do something more interesting to than going to Miley Cyrus concerts, watching Disney channel and having a sleepover party. Who knows, the next Richard Stallman might be a Hannah fan!

If ever your 10-year old inner self hasn't been sold yet, wait till you hear its official song. N.B: Considering some heart patients might be reading this article, I'm posting just the chorus of the song.

You get the best of both OS,s
Run Windows, take it slow
Then Linux rocks out the show
You get the best of both OS,s
Mix it all together and you know that it's the best of both OS,s
The best of both OS,s
You go to software premiers (is that Linus Torvalds?)

The whole song can be accessed HERE, proceed with caution though.

I wonder what's next for the Linux world - Ubuntu - Justin Bieber Edition. Biebuntu? Or maybe Rebbecca Black alarm calendar application?

Ubuntu Satanic Edition:

I have some questions. Do Satan worshipers really exist? If at all they do, then, whom do they worship? Bill Gates? Steve Jobs? Glenn Beck? Never mind, I was just plain curious. Moving on to the main topic, Ubuntu Satanic Edition (USE) is an Ubuntu-based Linux distribution focusing on the darker side of Linux. It was created in reaction to Ubuntu Christian Edition, and has since then, received a lot of criticism. The distribution has been banned from Distrowatch, and it's Wikipedia entry has also been deleted. Even though it tries to popularize Linux within a cult, the distro brings nothing special to the desktop other than some dark themes and CC-licensed heavy metal music. USE also has its own store that sells Satanic T-shirts and mugs.


Compared to HML, they have a relatively shorter theme song:

“Woe to you, Oh Earth and Sea,
for the Devil sends the beast with wrath
because he knows the time is short…
Let him who hath understanding reckon
the distro of the beast,
for it is a Linux distro,
its distro is Ubuntu Satanic Edition.”

Religious Distros:

Ever since Linux has become popular among desktop users, a lot of religious, Linux-based distros have come up. The goal of these distros is either to make Linux appealing to religious people or make religion appealing to Linux users. Whatever their goal maybe, making a religion-based Linux distro doesn't make any sense whatsoever. This is because almost all the religious distros have the same features as the distributions from which they are derived. The only change they make is by adding or removing a few packages to make it appealing to the people of that religion. For example, Ubuntu Muslim Edition is nothing but Ubuntu with 3-4 extra software, which could easily be installed using apt-get. One thing I don't understand is why is the need for a special religious distro when the plain distros are doing so well? Does the FOSS philosophy go against any Christian/Islamic values? However, Microsoft, on the other hand, breaks the “Thou shalt not steal” commandment every time it releases a new version of Windows.

Written by: MJA, a Slackware Linux user and TechSource fan

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